


Show and Tell

by starlightwalking



Series: the world as we know it [10]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: (both in the past), Ace-Spectrum Character, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Bad Jokes, Caedsexual Maedhros, Communication, Cunnilingus, Developing Relationship, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Transphobia, Kissing, M/M, Negotiating Sexual Boundaries, Non-Penetrative Sex, Pegging, Post-Coital Cuddling, Praise Kink, Recovery, Trans Fingon, Trans Male Character, Trauma-Affected Sexuality, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:40:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26552239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightwalking/pseuds/starlightwalking
Summary: Three scenes depicting Maedhros and Fingon's sex life as they grow and heal together.
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo
Series: the world as we know it [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651942
Comments: 24
Kudos: 65
Collections: Anna's Trans Anthology





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is, primarily, a happy fic full of love, but it will deal with some sensitive topics that have been tagged for. All of the bad stuff happened in previous relationships, and Mae and Finno are nothing but supportive and considerate of one another.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A first time, for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 is set immediately after "End of the Night."

"Do we really need this?" Maedhros wondered, looking down nervously at the little slip of latex covering Fingon's genitals. "I mean—I'm fine with it, obviously, I am, but I'm...is it going to feel good for you?"

Fingon sat up. "I think I would feel better the first time if we used it," he said slowly. "We're..taking things slow, right? I don't want to pressure you, at all. Even if you're fine with not using it, and it is for your benefit, technically, I think...knowing that if you enjoy this, that there's a 'next step' we can take that isn't...all that much more intense, I think that's reassuring. Does that make sense?"

Maedhros nodded. His stomach still churned with anxiety, around the whole thing, but at least half of that was from excitement, not fear. He was fully clothed, and Fingon was only naked from the waist down, and though he could see some wetness already gathering in his boyfriend's cunt beneath the dam they weren't in a position they couldn't easily back off from. He felt...safe. Scared, yeah, a little, but mostly because he wanted to do _good._

"Yeah, that makes sense," he said. "And like...I've always been a little overcautious about being safe. First time I gave a blowjob I insisted we use a condom. The other guy wasn't too crazy about it but he was nice enough to agree. And then when he didn't suddenly get warts all over his face after he sucked me off without one I decided to relax a little..."

"We're both clean," Fingon said. "I mean, 'clean' isn't the best term to use, because of stigma, you know, but I'm not gonna give you anything and you're not gonna give me anything—"

"I hope I'll give you pleasure," Maedhros joked weakly. "Though...I might suck at first."

Fingon shrugged. "Well, sucking is a decent place to start."

"Haha," Maedhros said, rolling his eyes. "Take my insecurities and make fun of them, very funny."

Fingon's face fell. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

Maedhros silenced him with a gentle kiss. "I'm joking, too," he murmured. "I can do that with you. I feel safe with you. Especially since you care so much."

"Love you," Fingon whispered.

"Love you," Maedhros echoed.

"Don't worry about...being good at it," Fingon assured him. "We're just getting used to this, right? It's new for both of us—you being with me, me being with you."

"Me being with anyone at all," Maedhros mumbled. _Even myself,_ he did not say.

Fingon touched his cheek gently. "You being with anyone like me, at all."

"That's not..." Maedhros huffed. "Finno, I am looking at the manliest cunt in the world right now, you _know_ I don't—"

Fingon's laugh was delightedly fearless, and Maedhros wanted nothing more than to keep him feeling that way.

"You really don't have to reassure me like that," Fingon teased, "though it's sweet that you try." He cocked his head. "Now are you gonna eat me out or not, Mae?"

Maedhros' heart pounded, but he smiled, lowered his head, and gave it his best shot.

* * *

"Mm," Maedhros said, feeling giddy. His fingers were sticky and his mouth tasted a little funny from the aftertaste of the dental dam, but he felt so fucking good. He hadn't once thought about his own junk, or anything that had happened in the past—the fact that this was all so new helped him forget that the last time he'd had any sexual contact with another person was so awful.

And Fingon...

Fingon caught his breath, lying back on his bed, his legs still trembling and his whole body flushed. Maedhros couldn't take his eyes off his boyfriend's cunt, leaking juices and still a beautiful, throbbing pink; or his clit, red and sensitive and so tempting...

He leaned back down and sucked at it like he would a cock. It wasn't the same, obviously, but Fingon whimpered nonetheless, his legs kicking.

"Mae, oh god, oh Mae," he groaned. "Nonono, too much, too soon..."

Maedhros drew back instantly, crawling up to lie next to Finno's face. "Sorry, sorry," he whispered.

Fingon's eyes were wild, but he smiled at him. "Nonono, I mean—that was good, so good, do it again..."

"But you said..." Maedhros _really_ did not like to hear Fingon saying "no." He didn't want to do anything that made his boyfriend even remotely uncomfortable.

"I..." Fingon sucked in a breath. "Sorry, I...guess we should have had, um, a safe word? So you know when I mean it and when it's...when some overstimulation is a good thing, even if I say..."

"Next time," Maedhros said, his heart still pounding. "I don't—I can't—I won't be able to keep going if I hear you say no. Not now. Not if I'm not...prepared for it."

"That's fine," Fingon whispered. "Sorry—"

"Don't apologize, or I'll start, too, and neither of us wants that," Maedhros murmured. He kissed Fingon's brow, watching as his boyfriend reached down to peel the dental dam off and brush his own thumb against his swollen clit. He hissed, then drew his hand away.

"'S probably for the best," he muttered. "God, Mae...that was great. Thank you. So much."

Maedhros blushed. "You liked it, then?"

Fingon snorted. "Mae, you made me come twice, and if you'd ignored me that last time you could've done it again. Yeah, I liked it."

"Was I...good?" Maedhros felt embarrassed that he needed confirmation, but he really would feel better if he knew he was on the right track.

"Good," Fingon confirmed. "And you'll only get better with practice." He paused. "If you want to. No pressure."

Maedhros blinked. "Of course! I...I really liked that. Seeing you so excited. Knowing it was because of...of me." He blushed. "Is that weird? I didn't get off myself, or anything, but..."

"That's what you wanted, right?" Fingon asked. "To make me feel good, to forget about yourself. Right?"

"Yeah," Maedhros said softly. "And I definitely did that. The second one. And I guess the first one, too."

"Absolutely the first one," Fingon said firmly. "God, Mae...even if you never wanted to do this again I could jerk off to this memory for a year without it getting old. You're so..." He touched his face fondly. "You're so good. I love you."

Maedhros felt like he could float away, he felt so light and happy. "I like that," he rasped. "Hearing...hearing that I'm good."

"Mm, got a praise kink?" Fingon teased, and Maedhros blushed deeper.

"I don't—I mean—I just—"

Fingon kissed him. "I like knowing what you like," he said softly. "I like making you feel good, even if it's not the same way you just did for me. You're so good, Mae, you're perfect..."

Maedhros felt warm all over, and he let out a muffled squeak. " _Fingon_ ," he whined, because he was definitely not perfect and he didn't deserve this love—

"Perfect for _me_ ," Fingon said fiercely, and Maedhros didn't need to come to feel a burst of pleasure so strong he forgot how to think for just a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next two chapters are already written and will be posted tomorrow and the next day!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A re-evaluation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is accompanied by [a lazy doodle](https://arofili.tumblr.com/post/629766204860579840) I drew last night :)

It was a normal bodily function, he knew, though he tried not to make anything of it when he knew Maedhros was not really comfortable with...that part of his anatomy. Yet Fingon couldn't help the way his breath caught when he woke in his boyfriend's arms and felt a hardness pressing into his hip. With any other man that could've been a promise of things to come, if they both wanted—but that was the thing. Fingon might want, but Maedhros didn't, and he was absolutely not going to press the issue. He was more than happy with what Maedhros did, on occasion, want to give him.

So when he felt Maedhros' morning wood this time, he wriggled out of his boyfriend's grip and scooted a few inches away, just to give him some space. Maedhros' eyes flickered open, and he let out a soft mewl of protest—god, he was so _cute_ —and reached out for Fingon again.

Fingon didn't think anyone on earth could deny a face like that, so he rolled back over, letting Maedhros wrap his arms around him, resting his palms on his stomach.

"Love you," Maedhros mumbled, nipping at his neck, and _oh_. That was—that was not helping the situation at _all_.

"Mae," he whispered. "You're, um..."

"Hmm?" He pressed his mouth to Fingon's neck again, leaving a proper bite this time, and _damn_ that would leave a mark and Fingon _wanted_ that, but—but—

"Mae, are you sure you—y'know—" Fingon turned his head, placing a hand over Maedhros' mouth to stop him from sucking another mark into his skin. "This is—I like that, you marking me, I do, but you're..." He couldn't help but glance down. Maedhros was shirtless, and his pajama pants were tented, and Fingon _wanted_ but knew he couldn't get. And that was not a big deal, _really_ it wasn't, but...

"Oh." Maedhros blushed instantly and vividly. "Ah. Um—yeah. Sorry."

"Mae, _I_ am more than fine with...whatever you want," Fingon assured, "I just don't want _you_ to feel uncomfortable."

Maedhros grimaced, sitting up in bed and tugging the covers over his shoulders. He looked silly, a tall gangly thing with blankets wrapped around him, and Fingon couldn't help but smile and kiss the frown off his mouth, short and sweet.

"I guess I should...we should talk about this again," he said, staring down at where his hands would be if the blanket wasn't hiding them.

"Only if you want," Fingon assured him. It was a Saturday morning, and aside from homework they only had the vaguest plans for the day; there was all the time in the world for this conversation to happen, but only if Maedhros wanted to.

Maedhros huffed. "That. That's it."

"What?" Fingon tried not to sound as hurt as he felt. "Mae, did I do something...?"

"No, no, sorry..." He chewed his lip. "That came out wrong. I just—I'm grateful, I really am, that you're so quick to check in with me, to make sure I'm okay. But...Finno, I feel safe around you. I trust you, and not just because you...because you keep asking if I'm alright. We set some pretty firm boundaries, at the start, but it's been seven months and...we only follow some of them anymore. And, no offense, but I'm tired of you treating me like I'm some fragile thing."

"I'm not—I didn't mean..." Fingon swallowed back tears. This was _not_ about him, he told himself fiercely, this was about _Maedhros_ , and if they needed to renegotiate boundaries then that was fine. It wasn't... _personal_.

(Except how could it _not_ be personal, when it came to him and Mae?)

"Can we just—talk, for a little?" Maedhros asked, tightening the blankets around him even more. "I...I want to revisit things. I have for a while, actually. I've kind of been dropping hints, but, well—that's on me for not being clear. Sorry."

"Don't apologize," Fingon whispered. "Yes, yes of course we can talk..."

"Okay." Maedhros took a deep breath. "I feel—so much better than I did when we met. Like... What happened with Mairon isn't something that can go away. But I don't dwell on it like I used to, and even when I do it feels...distant. It doesn't hurt like it used to."

"That's good," Fingon murmured, forcing himself to keep looking at Maedhros' face. Even though Maedhros hadn't looked him in the eye since he pulled the blankets around himself.

"It is. It—really is." Maedhros smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. He was nervous, and that was making Fingon nervous too, but he bit his lip and stayed still. He needed to listen.

"It's because of you, really," Maedhros continued. "I mean...not _just_ you? But the other people who've helped—they're Maglor, who you pushed me to reconnect with, and that therapist at the counseling center that you suggested, and Azaghâl, who...well, I guess you've never actually met them but you were the one who told me what those pride flags meant when I asked, so I could start a conversation with them. And—I've done work on myself, by myself, too, but Finno..."

Now he looked up, and a sob caught in Fingon's throat, because that look—he'd never been looked at like that by anyone else, so tenderly, so lovingly.

"You're...probably the best thing that could've happened to me," Maedhros murmured. "You came along just when I needed you, and I'm never gonna forget that. I never—I never want to lose you. And...you already know that, but...I love you. More than I've loved anyone else ever before."

Fingon was crying now, because really it wasn't him that got Maedhros to this point, it was Mae _himself_ , and because he loved Maedhros so much and he was so damn _proud_ of him. He wanted to scoop Maedhros up in his arms and hug him for the whole day, homework be damned, and even that couldn't show him how beautiful and wonderful and brave he was.

"I love you too," he choked out. "Just—just as much." He laughed, a watery sound. "More."

Maedhros sniffled a little, but he closed his eyes, his mouth a determined line—he clearly had more to say, and didn't want to lose his nerve. Fingon wiped his tears quietly, listening intently.

"Anyway, I..." Maedhros took a deep breath. "I think I want us to be less...careful? Or, I don't know, that's not the right word, but—I needed to be asked, to be checked in with, I needed that, it was really good for me. Back then. But now..."

"Now...?" Fingon prompted.

"Now...I mean, for big things, that's still a good idea." Maedhros readjusted his position beneath the blanket. "But now it feels like you're...coddling me, when you hesitate before every kiss or hug or whatever. I don't need that from you anymore—the hesitation." He opened his eyes and smiled shakily. "I do still need the kisses. But you don't have to ask. I want them, always, from you."

In response to that Fingon leaned forward and kissed him boldly, tangling his fingers in Maedhros' hair, not being gentle at all. Maedhros moaned and bit his lip, sending tingles down Fingon's spine, and he pushed the blankets away to let Fingon straddle him, making out like their lives depended on it.

"Love you," Fingon whispered between kissing his cheek, his lips, his neck. "Always want you, too, whatever you want to give me..."

"I want," Maedhros rasped, rocking up into him, his arousal apparent, "so much...Finno, you're the best—you are the most wonderful person—you're so—you're so hot, I love you, I want you—"

"You're perfect, you're precious, you're beautiful," Fingon murmured. He could feel himself getting wet as Maedhros mouthed at his neck, as he _didn't pull away..._

"Wait," Maedhros mumbled. He didn't push Fingon away; in fact, he pulled him closer, their chests pressing together (and Fingon tried not to think about how _much_ of a chest he had), but he did still his movements.

"I—I'm so grateful for what _you_ give _me_ ," he said softly. "That you let me touch you, that you want me to love you. And—I think...I think I'm ready to give some of myself back to you."

Fingon drew in a sharp breath. "Maedhros..." he whispered. He wanted to ask if he meant it, if he was sure, and...and he _would_ ask for clarification, but he remembered what Maedhros had just said and held back for a moment. Maedhros would tell him, he knew.

"I've..." Maedhros pressed their foreheads together, smiling bashfully. "It's weird that I'm... _proud_ of this? I mean, teenage me was horribly ashamed...but fuck that, I'm healing, I'm getting _better_ , and part of that is—" He kissed Fingon quickly, laughing into his mouth. "I've jerked myself off, Finno. I can touch my dick and it feels _good_ again. Took me almost a year to get there but—I've done it a couple times and I _came_ , even, and I liked it."

Fingon kissed him. He was right, it _was_ a little weird that that felt like a milestone, an achievement, but it _did_ and it was good and he was _so proud_ of his boyfriend.

"And you think..." Fingon trailed off, not wanting to be _too_ presumptuous, but the prospect of Maedhros letting him suck his dick—or even of Maedhros _fucking_ him—he was sure his boxers were _soaked_ , he was so turned on. He felt like a teen again, about to get fucked for the first time, and wasn't that fitting, considering Maedhros being proud of jerking off? And, like—he wasn't sure he wanted Mae's cock in his cunt but just like back then, there was a "maybe" attached to that which thrilled him.

Maedhros slipped a hand down to palm Fingon through his boxers, and they both moaned. Fingon leaned into the touch, wanting more, wanting his fingers...

"You're so wet for me," Maedhros breathed. "Oh, god, Finno...I wanna...I dunno if I can fuck you, that's still...I don't know. But I wanna make you come, and I wanna—I wanna come with you."

Fingon pushed him down into their bed, grinding against him like he couldn't control himself. (He could, he would if he needed to, but he didn't _want_ to, and if Maedhros didn't want to either...)

"Oh, god, Mae—yes, yes _please_ ," he begged. He slipped his tongue into Mae's mouth, felt his boyfriend cup his ass, and he whined. "Mm, yes, yes yes yes! You—mmmm—I want—you—you just say 'baklava' and I'll stop, okay?" That was their safe word, decided upon months ago, something completely random and unrelated to anything important. "But otherwise—if—if you mean it that you don't want me to stop and ask every two seconds—"

"Yes, yes, I mean it," Maedhros gasped. "Finno—just keep—god, get out of your fucking clothes, I wanna touch you—"

"Get out of _yours_ ," Fingon challenged, adding in a softer tone, "if you want." He rolled aside so he could rip off his shirt and his boxers. His tits hung down against his chest, nipples hard, but he didn't even care that he was exposed there because of the hungry way Mae looked at him—Maedhros, his _gay_ boyfriend, undeniably attracted to him, which was a sign of recovery all on its own—he knew Maedhros wanted him for himself, as a man, and not even in spite of his transness but _with_ it.

And then—

He'd already been shirtless, and there'd been times before where he'd asked Finno to touch his nipples, but Fingon had never had the privilege of seeing Maedhros with his pants off. But now he stripped down, exposing his long, gorgeous legs, and god _that_ would be a sight on its own but then he saw the bulge in his boxers, and then the boxers slid down too, and—

Fingon's mouth watered at the sight of his boyfriend's cock, flushed and red and curving up toward his stomach, already leaking a bit. He couldn't help himself; Fingon reached down and slipped a finger into his folds, just imagining the stretch of that cock in his ass... He wouldn't get that today, but maybe sometime in the future...!

"Let me," Maedhros said, pulling Fingon's hand away and replacing it with his own, pushing two digits inside of him. His fingers were bigger than Fingon's, and it always felt so _good_ , to have Mae filling him up like that. And—it had been ages since he'd let a boyfriend fuck his cunt—but this was _Maedhros_ , who from day one had never once expressed any gender-related concerns, and if his fingers were big his cock, now so gloriously exposed, was even bigger...

(Maybe he had a bit of a size kink, Fingon realized. Or—a Maedhros kink? Everything about Mae was just so breathtakingly sexy, and now that he had the full picture he could barely think straight...well, he could _never_ think _straight_ , especially not when it came to his very gay feelings for his very gay boyfriend, but—well he couldn't even keep his internal monlogue on one track, that's how crazy Mae was driving him.)

"Can I suck you off?" he asked breathlessly. "You— _ohh_ —" Maedhros curled his fingers inside of him and Fingon fell forward, a breath away from Mae's cock. "Oh god, oh Mae, wanna taste you—"

Maedhros breath hitched. "N-no," he stammered, but he didn't say "baklava" and he didn't stop fucking Fingon with his fingers. "Not now. Maybe some other time. I just—only just got used to my own hands..."

"My hands, then?" Fingon asked, fingers twitching. "Wanna touch you, wanna see you come. Wanna help you if you let me. Can still taste you after..."

"Touch me," Maedhros gasped, and _god_ he was beautiful, Fingon could not resist. He wrapped a hand around Mae's cock and felt him whine, leaning down to bite Fingon's neck. It was the single most erotic sound Fingon had ever heard and he barely had time to warn Mae before he was coming, clenching around Mae's fingers and soaking his hand.

Mae's thumb came up to rub his clit, and even as Fingon babbled out, "Nnnonononono, oh god it's too much, not enough, keep _going_ ," he squeezed _another_ finger into Fingon's cunt and because none of that nonsense was their safe word he _kept going_ and fucked Fingon through another orgasm, and another, and another, until Fingon couldn't take it any more and slapped his hand away. He realized, belatedly, that he'd been squeezing and pumping Mae's dick the whole time, and Mae's eyes rolled back into his head as he jerked his hips up into Fingon's grip, and Fingon brought his other hand up to stroke the head of his cock and Mae gasped out his name: " _Finno_ , I'm gonna—"

"Come for me," Fingon commanded, and Maedhros _did_ , spurting white fluid onto his chest and Fingon leaned forward so some of it landed on his face, and then he started to soften and Fingon let go, gathering come from his cheek and Mae's torso onto his finger and licking it clean. It tasted like _Maedhros_ —Mae had _come_ for him, he'd been able to lose himself in pleasure _because of Fingon,_ and Fingon wanted to treasure that, to savor it, because they'd taken a long time getting here and it had been so worth the wait.

"Love you," Fingon murmured. "'M so proud of you...you did so good, Mae, you were perfect, I love you so much... No one else could make me feel the way you do... You taste good, love, so good, thank you for trusting me with this..."

Maedhros moaned and pulled him down for a sloppy kiss. Fingon fell on top of him, getting his tits in the mess of come on Mae's chest, and he whispered filthy promises into Mae's ear, told him to lick the his own come off Fingon's breasts, cup them and suck his nipples, "Because you're good, so wonderful, you'll treat me like a good boy and, and love me right, my whole body..."

"You," Maedhros croaked, "are the best boyfriend in the world...ever..."

"Can't be," Fingon teased, "because I'm lying on top of him right now, that's _you_."

Maedhros pressed his burning face into the pillow of Fingon's chest and did exactly what he asked.

They didn't leave the bed until well into the afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter will be posted tomorrow!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where those implied/referenced tags come in; if you've read the rest of the series, it's nothing new, but both their past relationships and the bad aspects of them are mentioned here. Additionally: lots of boundary and genital talk, but that's been happening this whole time.

"Okay," Fingon said, sitting cross-legged on their bed. "Okay, let's go over this one more time."

Maedhros nodded. "We're going to try penetration?" He didn't know why he phrased it like a question, they'd already discussed the subject extensively, but...well. They were both anxious about this still, even if they'd come a very long way from where they'd started a year (and twenty-two days) ago.

"Yeah," Fingon said, and smiled. "I'm really excited. It's been—well, you know."

"Yeah." Maedhros reached over to hold his hand. "Okay. We'll start doing what we normally do, but you'll be wearing your strap-on..."

"And then if—when—you feel ready for it," Fingon continued, "I'll have lube on the bedside table, and you'll lie down and let me open you up."

Maedhros' gut churned, half-anxious, half-aroused. He'd been taken before, but that was several relationships ago. Even the bit of playing around he'd been doing with himself in the past few months, thinking about this exact scenario, would still be a lot different than...Fingon actually doing that to him. But with his ex, the issue had been Mairon forcing himself onto Maedhros' dick—at least, that had been the final straw that made him realize he'd been raped—and if he was going to fuck Fingon...he had reclaimed his sexuality for the most part, but he wanted to hold off on that.

Besides, Fingon said he liked pegging his boyfriends. Though of course _his_ last ex had also been a piece of shit who wanted "the real thing" and refused to let Fingon top him, and then used that as an excuse for cheating on him with a cis guy.

"You'll let me suck your cock first, right?" he asked, and Fingon flushed. Maedhros winked. "I know you dream about that..."

"Yes of course," Fingon mumbled. "Though it won't be like the dreams..."

"No," Maedhros said, squeezing his hand. "It'll be better, because it'll be real, and it'll be us."

Fingon made a squeaking sound and kissed him. "Love you," he whispered.

"Love you," Maedhros murmured back. "Okay. Once I'm ready for you, and you're ready for me..."

"I'll push into you," Fingon said, eyes bright. "And you can always say our safe word, and I'll stop."

"I'll never be able to eat baklava again," Maedhros joked.

Fingon rolled his eyes. "Whatever. It's too dry for me, anyway, I like my pastries moist."

"You know what else I like moist—"

"Shut _up_ ," Fingon groaned, but he was grinning. "I'll listen for a 'stop' or a 'slow down' too. I want it to feel good for you."

"And for you," Maedhros said.

Fingon smirked. "Believe me, it will. I'll be sure to let you know, though."

"Please do." Maedhros kissed the inside of his wrist. "We'll go slow at first, make sure everything's going fine..."

"...and then when neither of us can take it anymore I'll go a little harder, and start to stroke you off," Fingon said. "And we can always slow back down if it's too much."

"Do you think you'll come just from fucking me?" Maedhros asked. "I mean—with you inside me and your hands on me, I probably will, if it all goes according to plan. But what about you?"

"The harness pulls the dildo right up against my genitals," Fingon explained, "and I'll be moving. Vigorously. I'll be plenty stimulated, but even still, I don't know. But even if I do come I won't be opposed to you eating me out after you finish."

Maedhros nodded. "Sounds good. And if either of us need to stop, for any reason...we can either just cuddle or go back to the non-penetrative stuff we've been doing."

"Yeah," Fingon said. He paused. "And...I don't know if I want to do this _today_ , we're already trying new stuff, but..." He cocked his head. "It's been a long time since I've let someone into my cunt. Usually guys prefer anal, it's what they're used to, and I can be dysphoric about the other hole. But..."

Maedhros' mouth went dry. "Definitely not today," he said, his voice cracking. "But you really want me to...?"

"I want to try," Fingon said firmly. "I really do. Like I said, it's been a long time, and maybe I'll like it better now that I'm more confident with my gender, and I have an amazing boyfriend who always knows the right thing to say to make me feel good."

Maedhros almost shook his head— _I am not_ that _amazing, not for treating you like you deserve, and I definitely don't "always" know what to say_ —but he didn't want to put any doubts into Fingon's mind. Sometimes he thought Finno was much more of a man than he was, but...well, he didn't want to make things weird, so he kept that to himself. (Maybe one of these days he'd bring it up, either to Fingon or to his friend Azaghâl, who was nonbinary. But not today.)

"If you want to try, then I do too," he said. He rubbed the back of his neck. "But...just warning you...I might not be able to get through it. The last time I was inside someone..."

"I was thinking about that," Fingon admitted, "and...obviously, if you don't want to, or you change your mind halfway through, or whatever, that's fine. But—the last boyfriend who fucked me there, I made him switch to my ass when I freaked out about it, and he said it felt different, which makes sense. The vagina is self-lubricating, after all, and it's...well, it's not 'meant' for penetration, that's the wrong word, but like—biologically it is a bit more welcoming to the penis than the asshole is, because, you know, reproduction. So. It might feel different enough for you that it would be fine. Maybe? I don't know." He shivered. "Sorry, I'm—I'm rambling again, I—"

"Finno," Maedhros said gently. "Breathe with me?"

Fingon nodded and took deep breaths in sync with Maedhros until he calmed down a bit. "Sorry," he mumbled, then winced. "I mean...I know you don't want me to apologize for getting anxious. But still."

"I'll always be here for you," Maedhros promised. "Always. Okay?" They'd talked about their relationship and both admitted they wanted this to be long-term, maybe even forever, but Maedhros still felt a little giddy saying that. (They'd danced around the subject of _marriage_ , a year still felt too soon for that, but Maedhros imagined Fingon in a tux and waiting for him at the end of the aisle more often than he liked to admit to himself—and if a few daydreams of himself in a wedding dress had snuck in, too...well, that was also a conversation for another day.)

"Always," Fingon whispered back.

"As for...your suggestion," Maedhros said, "I don't know? But I'd be interested in finding out." He shrugged. "I've never had the opportunity to get up close and personal with a vagina before you—I was even a C-section, so—"

"Stoooop," Fingon groaned, but Maedhros knew he loved his bad jokes.

"—but I like what I've seen of yours so far." Maedhros smiled. "My boyfriend has a pretty sweet cunt, good enough to eat, and I can bet it feels good to fuck too, if I can get over my own issues. His body is pretty great like that."

Fingon blushed fiercely. "You and your dirty jokes," he mumbled.

Maedhros kissed him, whispering, "Yeah, and I kiss him with that mouth, too."

"But none of that tonight," Fingon said, holding him close. "Tonight _you're_ the one getting fucked."

"I can't wait," Maedhros teased, nipping at his lip.

"I won't make you," Fingon growled, and pushed him down onto the bed. "You get naked while I get the strap. I'm gonna make you _scream_ , Mae."

"I look forward to it," he said breathlessly, and obeyed.

* * *

Maedhros' breath hitched. "Oh—oh my god," he squeaked as he felt Fingon start to push inside. His boyfriend stilled and he shook his head frantically. "No, I don't mean _stop_ , I know our safe word, I just— _hnnnnggmmf_ —oh my god, it's just—it feels—"

"Good?" Fingon rasped, slowly sinking his silicone cock into Maedhros' ass.

"Very," he gasped. "It's—god, Finno, you feel so good..."

"So do you," Fingon whispered. "You're clenching around me...I can't feel it but...you look so good with my cock in you..."

"Tell me," Maedhros begged. "What are you feeling?"

"I'm wet," Fingon murmured. "You're so hot, so sexy, I'm dripping... The harness—it's tight around my hips...there's not a whole lot of pressure on my clit right now, but...oooh, I wonder, if we got one of those dildos that inserts into the wearer too...I could fuck myself while fucking you..."

"Finnoooo," Maedhros moaned, and lifted his hands up to grab his boyfriend's waist, fingers brushing against the straps of the harness, pulling him closer, filling him up. "Finno, I need you all the way in me, _please_ —"

"This isn't too much?" Fingon asked, eyes bright.

"Not enough," Maedhros panted. "Finno, please, _fuck_ me—"

Fingon relented, surging forward until their hips were pressed together and the last inch and a half of the dildo pushed inside Maedhros. He let out a breathy half-scream as Fingon's cock nudged his prostate, and his boyfriend stilled, letting him get used to it, which was kind and considerate of him, but Maedhros wanted _more_ , not _less_. It had been years, and the stretch hurt just a little, but Fingon had teased him with his fingers for nearly an hour and he was more than ready for some action.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he chanted, a plea as much as it was an exclamation of delight, and Fingon leaned down to kiss him, fucking his mouth with his tongue as he pulled back and slammed back in, fucking his ass.

They'd planned on being gentle, but Maedhros didn't want that now, and neither, it seemed, did Fingon. Their foreplay had been gentle enough, and he wanted it intense, he wanted it to be so so different than it had ever been before, and Fingon gave it all he got, babbling praises and telling Maedhros how beautiful he was, how sexy, how perfect and brave and strong and generous, and when he wrapped a hand around Maedhros' cock he was already so close, from Fingon's thrusts and his words, that he came almost immediately.

Fingon fucked him through it, slowing down gradually as Maedhros twitched and groaned and clenched around his cock, until at last his thrusts came so shallowly he slipped out entirely and tumbled back onto their pillows, breathing heavily.

Dizzy, Maedhros rolled over to kiss him, his hole twitching and feeling strangely empty. They made out lazily for a few minutes before Fingon squirmed and moved down to clean up the come on Maedhros' belly, giving his softened cock a few licks just to tease him. Maedhros threw his head back in ecstacy, overwhelmed with sensation and adoration for his perfect, beautiful boyfriend.

"Did...did you..." he rasped.

Fingon shook his head. "No," he whispered, "but I felt _amazing_ watching you fall apart like that. It wasn't—too much? I know we didn't exactly plan on going that fast, that hard..."

"It was perfect," Maedhros mumbled. "You were perfect. You _are_ perfect." He lifted himself up on his elbows, blinking at Fingon. "C'n I get you off too?"

"If you suck my cock again," Finno teased, and he didn't need to tell Maedhros twice. He liked giving head, had kind of missed the weighty feel of a cock in his mouth, and this wasn't quite the same but the small noises of enjoyment he made seemed to affect Fingon deeply. At last Fingon fumbled at the straps of the harness, freeing himself and all but shoving his cunt into Maedhros' face. It didn't take long before he was coming, hot and wet and hard, and Maedhros lapped up his juices in total bliss.

"That went well," Fingon murmured as they curled up together, resting for just a moment before they needed to clean up. He played with Maedhros' hair, running his fingers through it, and Maedhros let out a contented mewl. "Honestly, I'm kind of surprised it went so well..."

"It was new, and different," Maedhros mumbled. "I think that helped, that it was so unlike anything I'd done before, at least in a very long time." He nuzzled Fingon's collarbone affectionately. "Thank you. Love you."

"Thank _you_ ," Finno said. "And I love you, of course." He kissed Maedhros' brow. "I tell you a lot, but I really mean it: you're the best boyfriend I've ever had. I care about you so, so much. And I'm so incredibly proud of you."

If Maedhros were a cat he was sure he'd be purring. He wrapped his long limbs around Fingon and kissed his shoulders, feeling the pleasant softness of Fingon's breasts against his own chest. "Love you, love you," he whispered. "You helped. So much. You showed me the way here."

"But you were the one who did the work," Fingon reminded him. "That's all you, baby."

"You've done some work yourself," Maedhros countered. "We both have. On ourselves, with each other. I don't know where I'd be without you, Finno. I want..." He buried his face in Fingon's hair. "I want you always. I want you forever."

"I want that too," Fingon said, his voice a little choked. "When you graduate next quarter...I know the med school you go into isn't too far, but...I've still got a couple more years, since I switched majors...I don't want to hold you back, but I don't want you to leave me, either..."

"Himring really isn't all that far away," Maedhros murmured. "And I'm not holding myself back by deciding to go there instead of somewhere further away, I've been looking into there for awhile. And—" he hesitated— "I'm not sure I'm really cut out to be a doctor, honestly. It's too late for me to switch majors, really, I've already gotten enough grief from my dad that Maglor graduated before me...but I'm technically getting a bio degree that's part of the pre-med track. I can figure something out at Himring." He tightened his hold around Fingon. "I won't leave you. I promise. I'll—I'll make sure of that, one way or another."

"You should meet my family," Fingon said. "If you're really in this for the long haul. I mean, I've already met yours...some of them, anyway...I know my family lives a couple states away, but maybe over the break we could visit? It's been too long for me, anyway, I flew home at the holidays last winter but..."

"I'd love to meet them," Maedhros murmured. "Your sister especially. From talking on the phone she seems great." He'd always kind of wanted a little sister, but with six brothers it wasn't something he had much _time_ to be sad about.

"Ever since she graduated she's been roaming the country," Fingon said. "She doesn't stay in one place long. She might not show."

"Wonder if she'll run into Tyelko and Junior," Maedhros mused. "They're planning on doing the same thing when Junior graduates...though I think he'll start to miss home a bit sooner than your sister. Well, he'll miss Dad, at least."

"My dad will love you." Fingon giggled. "And the look on Turno and Arno's faces when they see that you're _taller_ than them will be priceless. Aredhel and I are so short, it is not _fair_ they got dad's tall genes...and it's not like Mom's tiny either, it must be recessive!"

"Is there any chance of running into your ex?" Maedhros asked darkly.

Fingon snorted. "Galdor? No. My first school is a good couple of hours away from home, and he came from the other side of the state. Now, a high school ex? That's a possibility..."

"I bet I'm better-looking than any of those dweebs," Maedhros said gruffly.

Fingon laughed and kissed him. "You will be when your hair isn't tangled and you don't have spots of your own come drying on you. Let's take a shower."

"Mmm, but you're so soft and warm," Maedhros complained, wriggling on top of his boyfriend.

"We can cuddle later when we're clean." Fingon squirmed out from under him and dragged him out of bed. "C'mon, Mae. I'll tell you a story about my siblings and I when we were little."

"Okay, okay," Maedhros grumbled, but he didn't mean his protests. He was happy, so happy, and beyond glad to be here with Fingon and have the promise of a future together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I don't know when the next installment in this series will be written/posted, but as I implied in the end of this chapter, we are getting close to The Reveal aka meeting Nolo!
> 
> ETA 10/7/20: I tweaked a tiny bit of dialogue near the end of the fic to better fit the timeline I finally went through and established for this verse :)  
> ETA 11/4/20: Same deal as above.
> 
> ETA 12/15/20: The amazing @drawingmaedhros on tumblr has drawn [Fingon in a tux](https://arofili.tumblr.com/post/635712881618567168/ahhhh-hes-beautiful-omg-i-love-it-thank-you), inspired by this fic!! Thanks so much!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, and please comment if you enjoyed!  
> You can find me on tumblr [@arofili](http://arofili.tumblr.com/).


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